party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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