I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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