But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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