HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
