We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
