she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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