But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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