Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
