Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize