If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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