Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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