i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
