Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
