if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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