sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
