Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize