I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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