Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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