2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
