Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
