Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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