u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize