if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Randomize
