Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
