i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
