You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
