I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
