Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
