If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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