i barfeds in our rink
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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