Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
