woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize