This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
