My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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