part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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