Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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