Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
