Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
