grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Green mimosas i think yes
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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