Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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