what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
