He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
