having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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