The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
