you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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