I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
