I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
