so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
