i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
