hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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