shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
