Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
