I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
