i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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