is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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