Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
