Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
