i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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