One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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