so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
