Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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