we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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