It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
