In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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