apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
