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You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I got her a Nickelback box set.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Found the puke drawer
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
