marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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