yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
